Saturday, December 12, 2009

Was Bartz's 'God Bless Tiger' an act of kindness? | Technically Incorrect

As many a famous person might or might not tell you privately, it's hard to know when to be honest.

Should you admit that you have at least 11 lovers? Should you tell the world that you might enjoy a prescription drug or two?

And then there was Carol Bartz's dilemma at the UBS Media Conference Monday--should you admit just how delighted you are that Tiger Woods might have at least 11 lovers and enjoy a prescription drug or two?

Bartz chose to open her feelings to the world. "God Bless Tiger," she was quoted by The Huffington Post as declaring.

The very public trials of the great golfer have forced untold millions of people to seek out untold stories and photos of Woods' personal life all over Yahoo's pages.

I know there may be some who found Bartz's admission rather callous. Didn't it sound like she was attempting to perform a Riverdance on someone's funeral casket? This view might have been supported by her reportedly mentioning that Tiger's woes had even conquered Michael Jackson's physical demise.

May I offer an alternative theory? You see, in the way that corporations sometimes behave with all the directional unity of Medusa's hair, perhaps Yahoo was, this week, behaving with uncommonly singular purpose.

On the same day that Bartz made her comments, her company launched something it calls its campaign to inspire the world.

Entitled "You In?", it is Yahoo's attempt to let kindness be its (and, by extension, your) guiding light this holiday season.

The idea is that, bathing in the need to be nice to someone, you should go immediately to Kindness.yahoo.com and share what it is you have decided to do to express your altruism. This way others might be able to be inspired by the ripple effect of your goodness.

It could be to finally tell your husband that his nasal hair has reached beyond reason into a desperate forest. It could be to finally tell your boss that he is a primping goon who shouldn't be running a bath, never mind your IT department.

Or it could be, like Carol Bartz, subtly encouraging your fellow imperfect human, Tiger Woods, to partake of the soothing balm called honesty.

"Look," she was really saying. "Just tell them exactly how it is. They'll respect you for it in the morning. It works for me."

I wonder if Tiger Woods' first post-scandal sponsorship might come from Yahoo? I can just see him yodeling after hitting a five-iron to within two feet of the pin, can't you?

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